Lesbian Argues Ga. Gays Can't Adopt Kids »
Posted by: STONERS 1 year, 4 months ago114 Comments Report this Story
And now she's doing something she once would have considered unthinkable - arguing that gays don't have the legal right to adopt children.
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STONERS1 year, 4 months ago
News of the tactic whipped up Atlanta's gay community, one of the largest in the South. Lambda Legal, a gay rights group, made a legal filing with the Georgia Supreme Court supporting Missy Wheeler. "There's something about this case that's just tragic," said Greg Nevins, a lawyer for the group.
Laura Douglas-Brown, editor of Southern Voice, the city's main gay newspaper, penned a column accusing Sara Wheeler of "self-hating."
"We owe it to each other not to lash out in ways that damage the entire gay community," she wrote. "Your own family may be destroyed, but don't destroy ours, too."
Sara said she felt like she had no choice.
"I'm not doing anything else a mother wouldn't do to fight for her son," she said. "Some people may think it's the unthinkable, but if they were put in my shoes, they'd do the same thing."
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ScottMiller1 year, 4 months ago
While this is tragic for the child, Sarah's position is laughable. She pleads with the court system to allow an adoption, and then, when her relationship goes bad, and she does not want to have to see her ex anymore, her argument becomes "what were you guys thinking, listening to me and letting my girlfriend adopt my child?"
That is just like the boy who kills his parents and asks for leniency from the court because he is an orphan.
No, there is no reason to over think this. Sara is no better than a straight person and her case deserves the same consideration that a straight persons case does. She brought this child into the world, she told this child that that missy was his "other mother" and now she should have to live with the consequences of that action.
The gay community is all about telling us about their rights. Now they need to start living up to their responsibilities.
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lfergie8121 year, 4 months ago
"The gay community is all about telling us about their rights. Now they need to start living up to their responsibilities."
Yeah, it's not like this has never happened before between a husband and wife. Nearly every court will rule in favor of the biological mother unless there is abuse proven but really what Sara should have done was file for child support and see how much Missy would want to claim the boy.
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catstevensComment removed: User banned.
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rumple4skin1 year, 4 months ago
The American public has been fully pushed into the political correct corner by the empowered gay community. Anyone daring to contradict the agenda of gayness are called homophiles and racists. All the arguments for supporting/denying homosexuals equal treatment have been rendered. I don't believe any rational person will deny basic human rights to a group of people who have chosen to live an alternate lifestyle. Most adults don't care about the sexual lives of gays: sleep with whoever you love. Perhaps many wish gays would all return to the closet. In or out of the closet I believe couples in this community have no right to adopt children. Adopting children is not a basic human right. However there is no reason do deny a gay female the right to birth a child.
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ScottMiller1 year, 4 months ago
This is a classic example of be careful what you wish for. These women were clearly so wrapped up in proving that they had the same rights that straight couples do that they did not consider what would happen if they broke up.
In other words, they spent WAY more time making sure that they could adopt than they did considering whether or not they should.
Straight couples do it all the time. Relationship is a little shaky, lets have a kid and firm up that commitment. It seems to be working as well for them as it does in the straight world.
Now the gay community is getting a taste of real equality. I wonder how they like it?
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mesodude1 year, 4 months ago
"These women were clearly so wrapped up in proving that they had the same rights that straight couples do that they did not consider what would happen if they broke up."
What? Are we reading the same story? How do you know what they were "wrapped up in" or trying to "prove"?
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kriicket1 year, 4 months ago
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rumple4skin1 year, 4 months ago
Baseline questions here: should children be raised in a homosexual invironment? Do two males have a right to adopt a male or female child? Does society have any right removing children from a homosexual home? Should prior marital status be considered? Do you remove the child from a divorced parent who realises they aren't straight?
Sara is very brave.
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whakked1 year, 4 months ago
Do we let children be born to transracial couples? Do we sterilize people whose IQ's are less than 110? Do we remove children from homes with parents who don't go to church?
I'm being sarcastic here, but - really - who died and left us in charge to decide?
An adoption is a civil action. What's better - foster care or adoption by one or more loving parents?
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evelyna1 year, 4 months ago
Even China allows people to adopt special needs children.
The system would rather the child stay in it with no chance of adoption.
I think the child should be able to sue for their own best interest. The state has no right to keep the child from being adopted.
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amazed1 year, 4 months ago
I think I read a different article than the rest of you.
1. The kid is already born --via artificial insemination -- to the one trying to nullify the adoption of said kid by her partner.
2. The relationship went sideways, and the birth mother decided to cut the partner totally out of the kid's life.
3. The adopted mom, having established a relationship with the kid, didn't want to lose all contact with the kid and --I'm extrapolating here, because it doesn't say specifically -- sued for visitation? joint custody? sole custody?
4. In retaliation, the birth mother is trying to nullify the adoption based upon the theory that because it was a "gay" adoption, it's illegal.
5. What's REALLY happening, is just like with ugly straight divorces, it's all about let's trash each other, and the hell with the fallout to the kid.
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amazed1 year, 4 months ago
Regardless of whether you "believe" in gay adoption, in this case, it happened. This kid knew two mommies -- how could it be any less wrenching to have one disappear out of her life than if it was a mom and a dad?
Gay or straight -- when the divorce comes, the kids should come first -- and definitely before petty revenge.
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lfergie8121 year, 4 months ago
Well, it seems like you have the same story except the woman had a son, Gavin, but you're right about the child, it's a case of bitter separation. The child would be about seven years old now and would remember the other woman so he must be very confused now.
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lvrofwolves1 year, 4 months ago
exactly! that's what I read. 1st she fought so that her partner could adopt the baby, now that the relationship went bad, she uses gay adoption shouldn't be allowed!
That would be like a homosexual couple getting married, the marriage goes bad, and the one that stands to lose the most $ says well..homosexual marriage isn't right, so the legalities of divorce shouldn't happen.
tho as a mother I would fight too...but she should find other ways. now I just think she's using whatever she can use, that's ugly.
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whakked1 year, 4 months ago
I totally agree. It's no different than a mother not allowing the father to see his children after a divorce because - and this is "God's Will" - he didn't give birth to the child. So he's not a "real" parent.
The things people will do to hurt another persion, and using a child to do it.
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amazed1 year, 4 months ago
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crespi1 year, 4 months ago
To be fair, no active member of the KKK or any other terrorist organization should be allowed to adopt.
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samsara151 year, 4 months ago
Yes. Yes, yes, yes. There is no good reason why not, except for bigots.
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CharacterCounts1 year, 4 months ago
Hey Snipe, we live in a free country becuase of brave men like you! Thank you. God bless America!
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architekker1 year, 4 months ago
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whakked1 year, 4 months ago
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arleen601 year, 4 months ago
What are you saying ?
Why are you saying they will become registered Sex Offenders ?
I don't think that gays should adopt ( to me it would be sentencing the kid to live in a gay lifestyle it did not choose ) but I know a lot of gays and to me they are neither sex offenders or molesters that is simply a lable that they do not deserve.
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mesodude1 year, 4 months ago
Neither should straight people be allowed to adopt. Babies grow up in hellish family situations with straight parents all the time. Think about it...50% of marriages fail, millions of straight people rape, beat, and murder their spouses each year. More straight people are pedophiles and straight people often fail to support their children. For some bizarre reasons, bigots have a hard time remembering these facts but they love to dream up doomsday scenarios involving gay parents. Oh well...
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mesodude1 year, 4 months ago
I think you might be mistaken. Do you have any evidence to support this?
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lvrofwolves1 year, 4 months ago
why do some people think that?-no to gay adoption, would you allow your daughter to have a hetrosexual male teacher? do you allow your hetrosexual male friends, around your daughters? would you have any problem with a male hetrosexual adopting a daughter? of course not! Homosexuality is completely different then pedophlia, please learn the difference before you insult others. Children are gender neutral until the mature, a huge majority of pedophiles are hetrosexual males. Yes they do prefer male children over female children sometimes, but it is the fact they are children that they are attracted to. If you are a normal hetrosexual male, you are attracted to adult females, not little girls. If you are an adult male normal homosexual, you are attracted to adult males, not little boys.
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lvrofwolves1 year, 4 months ago
What exactly is the gay lifestyle?? I know many gays that if you weren't told they were gay, you wouldn't know it. The young ones usually act like the young hetrosexuals, going to bars, cruising for sex....you know. when you have a family to be concerned about and support, you stay home, or do family things regardless if you are straight or not. what about gay fathers that are divorced and have children??? shared custody etc...they help their kids with homework, take them places, everything other Fathers do. what do you think they do? take them to gay bars or have sex in front of kids??? would you do that??? I don't think so! neither do homosexuals.
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PrideDEPOT1 year, 4 months ago
You can not have it both ways. You have a child with a partner, as I did, when you split, as I did, you honor that relationship, as I did and still do. What is best for the child is having a relationship with both people they are bonded to as parents, unless there is some kind of abuse. Simply being gay is NOT one of them. It is a real shame. She makes the Ex-Gay movment look bad not gay and lesbian people.
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jennygerms1 year, 4 months ago
I agree with a statement in the article. This issue has nothing to do with gay rights. It should be handled the same way as the same situation would be if it involved a man and a woman instead of two women. Particuarly because the other partner had adopted the child. That gives her legal rights. Its not fair at this point to say she never should have been allowed to adopt. The fact is that she was and she did. The hard part about this situation is that in a majority of custody cases the mother gets the majority of the custody rights. In this case who do you call mom though? I'd say the one who gave birth I guess. But I wonder what would be done in situations where a gay couple adopted a child and decided not to go through the birth process. I guess the situation could have an advantage. With out the precident to go on of the mother being favored, the judge would have to really look at what would be best for the child. Sighh. Breaking up is hard to do.
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jennygerms1 year, 4 months ago
I hope the baby gets to grow up and have a good relationship with both of her parents, because I think both of the women really are her parents.
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lvrofwolves1 year, 4 months ago
Never thought of it that way..( the advantage of both parents being the adoptive parents)but that would be very fair! I am a mother, but totally think Fathers should have 100% equal rights. I'm not real sure if I agree if a woman marries a man and he adopts her child, if he should have the same rights tho after a split. So I think I would tend to be on the side of the mother that gave birth in this case, but how she is going about it is VERY selfish, not only for the child, but for anyone else that could suffer those consequences. It's just not right how she is doing this. It would be different if they were both the adoptive parents.
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Changingconstant1 year, 4 months ago
The child was raised by both parents all along. It's not as if the kid turned 3 and then was introduced to the "other" mother.
After 7 yrs in the same family it would be totally unfair to the child to be seperated from either parent.
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lvrofwolves1 year, 4 months ago
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ScottMiller1 year, 4 months ago
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Harbeas1 year, 4 months ago
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amazed1 year, 4 months ago
in this case whether or not you believe in "gay adoption" is irrelevant. The kid's already been adopted and, presumably has formed parent-child bonds with both women.
It makes no difference whether the original adoption was a good idea or a bad idea -- it is what it is and it can't possibly be in the child's best interest to rip him apart from one of his parents.
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nwvic601 year, 4 months ago
Go take a look at the statistics on single parent families. They make up over 25% of family households. So tell me, how is a child in those situations going to learn about "the male female relationships when none exist in the home"? There are so many kids out there that need a home; letting a loving gay couple adopt a child is a much better option than sticking that child into the foster care system, a group home, etc. Honestly, they aren't going to "turn the child gay" simply by being gay themselves. As for learning "about the male female relationships when none exist in the home", a child doesn't need to have both a mother and a father to learn that. I know many kids who grew up in single parent families who have normal relationships despite having only a mother or father.
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arleen601 year, 4 months ago
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pattif1 year, 4 months ago
I find it hard to believe that some of you people think that heterosexual people can raise children better? I have seen plenty of half baked children come from those kinds of families. I think it should be their right to have children BECAUSE THEY ARE GAY. Everyone deserves equal rights in this country, guess we have not come far enough. If you are homophobic then I can see why you would feel this way, proabably not sure of your own sexuality because if you were, why would you care?
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pattif1 year, 4 months ago
ps-THat must make you better because you are not? How would you like it if that right were taken away from you. Besides, how can they stop it? There are sperm banks and egg donor banks..........lets get real in the century that we are in folks!
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mesodude1 year, 4 months ago
Sounds like Sara needs a psychiatric evaluation. That she's "rethinking whether she is still a lesbian" (huh?) based on this experience suggests to me she might be unstable.
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automan9091 year, 4 months ago
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WeAreAllSoStupid1 year, 4 months ago
First off, this actual story is rediculous and I hope everyone sees that for themselves. Now, my reason for responding is to ask whether a child has a "right" to have both a male AND a female "parent-figure" in order to socialize them to the differences between the sexes? I believe children do have such a right as evidinced by nature, adoption policies, and legal matters regarding shared-custody.
The question is, does it fulfill this "right" to have a gay man and a gay woman who both had sex change operations raise a child together? I think so but I'm not sure.
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Harbeas1 year, 4 months ago
"probably not sure of your own sexuality", huh? Of course not all hetreosexuals do a good job of raising children, but we don't need the extra added burden of being raised by two men or two women and never understanding how to relate to the opposite sex. Gays raising children is just not a good idea any way you want to rationalize it.
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mesodude1 year, 4 months ago
So the only place a child could possibly learn to relate to the opposite sex is at home? Where do kids raised in single parent households learn how to relate to the opposite sex? What about those raised in orphanages? Or are you telling us that children raised with one parent are doomed like those being raised by two gay parents? Gays raising children "is just not a good idea" TO YOU and your opinion is based on nothing but pure horsesh*t.
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